Cap'n Crunch's Revival

Crunch you must be kidding.
Throw in the towel, at this point in the game?
Come on you stormtrooping breakfast hero
You mystical mariner…

Has your heart gone to rust
To insult the eagereyed kids who revere you?
No, not another word, or syllable of cowardice…

Cap’n O Cap’n
You crispy-eyed captain sailing cold milky mornings
At the bottom of my bowl.

Tousle haired ancient
You owe it to America
You woolen capped warrior…

Mrs. Crunch you say family duty and kids in college
Well upon us all a little rain must fall but
They are counting on your
Longstanding crunch
Against the onslaught of white winds
Whole vitamin D pounding and
Torrential skim pummeling

O Cap’n how you shine
Through torrential pourings never drowning
Of your buoyancy we do sing!

So let me remind you dusted hero
That we supplied you with one sacred mission
AND THAT IS TO REPORT TO DUTYEVERY MORNING ON MY BREAKFAST TABLE
With the Lieutenant Orange, and the crispy toast

So if you have any PROBLEMS WITH THAT
You better take it up to the admiralty
But do not
Don’t let me ever hear you speak of throwing in the towel again!
You white bearded champion